Meet the Boys

Welcome to 3 Floors 10 Doors! Throughout the spring semester, this blog will chronicle the lives of ten college seniors living together in the Bronx. The names of the roommates (including the author) will be altered to maintain some level of anonymity, as many future posts would shame their parents and render them utterly unemployable. Disappointed parents aside, everything said here is meant in jest and the whole house approves of the idea. 

Let's start off with a quick bio of each guy:

First Floor

Heisenberg

Came out of the womb with a girlfriend. Has spent more time on his homework this week than Ron has in four years. Exclusively watches Spike TV. Somehow snaked his way into the best room in the house. Like, really, really loves his girlfriend. 

Meatballs

Way too nice of a guy to make fun of in this blog. Asks “Are you gonna finish that?” before you even start eating your meal. Still hasn’t finished Breaking Bad. Once had a batch of flatulence that completely ruined a house party.

Razor

Voted for Obama. Uncomfortably tall. Salad eater. Muppets enthusiast. Rides a scooter around the Bronx. Will make an excellent stay-at-home-dad someday.

Second Floor

Thor

Did not vote for Obama. Spends more time lifting than sleeping. Could win a 1 vs 9 fight against the rest of the house. Only watches movies when the fate of the world is at risk. Actually thinks he’s Thor. 

Boris

                                                                     

Possibly  Definitely a Russian Spy. Sleeps in a borderline closet. Frequents Kennedy Fried Chicken. Confuses everyone when he starts talking about hockey.

Steve

Ladies man. Movie Star quality hair. Voice of an angel. Most likely roommate to lose his job over a selfie. Named his room “The Thunderdome”.  Mugzs Hall of Famer. Wears hunting gear. Has never actually hunted.

Sanchez

Helpless romantic. Follows an alarming amount of twitter parody accounts. Would absolutely marry his Jeep if the government would let him. Has more sneakers than the rest of the house combined. Fist pumps on the dance floor and not just to be funny. 

Basement

Ron

Self proclaimed house alpha male.  Top notch chest hair. Has never eaten Chinese food. One Direction’s oldest male fan. Bed wetter extraordinaire. 

Bosh

Huge Chris Bosh fan. Most fashionable member of the house. VIP access to every club in Manhattan. Somehow still uses a desktop computer. Destroys his brain cells with techno music. 

Howie

Overly aggressive tickler. Sense of humor is about as mature as the kids from the AT&T commercials. Holds several iPhone game world records. Makes everyone uncomfortable when he wears his wife beater shirts around the house.